Week 11/May 25, 2020

Greetings Shift Into Fifth Community,

Week 11 of some kind of shelter in place for most of us....and I'm continuing to think about YOU.

Hoping that you have had a restorative, meaningful and peaceful weekend (Memorial Day Weekend in the USA). Special shout out to those celebrating graduations/end of school years and other important milestones. And please, remember, to share any part of these weekly Coronavirus/Covid-19 Care Correspondence emails with your networks. A picture, a cartoon, a story, a podcast, whatever. All meant to support and strengthen one another.

Letting Go!

"Hey Mom-would you ever go skydiving? With me?" I laughed and reflexively said, half serious and half not, sure, that would be awesome. "How about on your 16th birthday? Mother/son adventure...shall we make it a date?" So asked my middle school son during a carpool conversation. And so I responded. Somehow, during those precious 15 minute rides between pick-up and drop off, little seeds planted. Some obvious. Some not so much.

3 years later. I'm driving out to the outermost reaches of Western Georgia at the crack of dawn. Saturday of Memorial Day Weekend. Solo (turns out Eli can't jump with me until he's 18). Golden Sun. Cool. Blue skies. And I arrive. I look around. Scan the tops of the trees. No dead bodies hanging from limbs. Duly noted. My appointment is at 11. Registration process set to take 2 hours...I'm actually early. Papers signed, safety warning videos watched (as a lawyer, taking in the "this is potentially deadly...you assume all the risk" messaging makes me smile and cringe simultaneously).

Next up, get fitted for my harness. Introduced to my tandem partner and photographer/videographer. Do I want to pay a bit more for another couple of thousand feet? Absolutely! Do I want the video AND the pictures. Absolutely! I'm not messing around. Yes, I'm slightly numb and nauseous. And yes, I'm all in.

On the runway, 6 pairs climb aboard. No seats inside. Just 2 lengthy benches. We take our places. And my tandem buddy pulls the strings to tether himself to me so tightly I can feel his breath on the back of my neck. We climb for what seems an eternity. 8,000, 9,000, 10,000, 11,000, 12,000, 13,000, 14,000...then finally make it to 14,500 feet. The door swings open, the wind rushes in and the first duo gets up. They step out on the platform and are gone in a nano-second. My heart is racing. The engine is so loud. The wind is howling. We're up next.

With gestures, my guide reminds me to keep my chin up, chest out, arms spread wide and relax. As I step onto the platform outside of the plane. I grab the sidebar with a death grip. I'm terrified. Exhilarated. And 1000% ready to LET GO! 5,4,3,2,1....I loosen my grip, stop resisting, lean into the fear and take the leap (yes, I'm kind of pushed too, gently, from behind) into the clear blue sky. And I yell at the very top of my lungs, "I AM LETTING GO!" And we fall, and we spin, and I laugh, and I cry, and I sing, and I LET GO!

You see, when I half jokingly told my son yeah, sure, I'll jump out of a plane with you, I was focused on connecting with him. Psyched to have an awesome adventure we could share together. Create some more wonderful memories. A proud married mother and wife...anticipating the multiple next stages of my life with my 3 sweet children and devoted husband in a loving long term marriage.

When I actually jumped, a mere 3 years later from that carpool conversation, my world, as I knew it, had shattered. Losing my Mom to a brief battle with lung cancer and then my marriage to some reality checks that vividly illuminated irreconcilable differences all in the span of just 10 months had sent me reeling. Yes, Change, the one reliable constant. But how to move forward? Brutally painful and disorienting, I first needed to heal Grieve. Stop resisting. Make peace with reality. Be grateful for 3 awesome children. Get curious. And then, with time, reframe and realize this was an invitation to wake up. Move forward. Live a life in alignment with my values, passions and purpose.

And key to fully waking up and moving forward with my new life was letting go-literally and figuratively. Loosening the grip. Letting go of the life I had lived. Letting go of the preconceived notions of the life I had thought I would live. Letting go of the images created and cultivated. Letting go of the old self-limiting narratives. Letting go of the rage. Letting go of the pain. Just keep letting go. All in order to create space for a desired fresh chapter filled with loads of new possibilities, growth and yes, joy.

Perhaps you're thinking good for you. But what about me? Today. The Pandemic. Old realities shattered in big and small ways. A new normal for all of us filled with lots more questions than answers. Unsettling. Uncertain. Scary. At times, paralyzing. Once again, the universal challenge of HOW to move forward in this new pandemic reality? Grieving. Making Peace with Reality. Healing. Getting Curious. Looking for Lessons Learned. Cultivating Gratitude. And yes, Loosening the Grip and ultimately, Letting Go (and no, you don't have to jump out of a plane to let go:-).

Remember, change is the one constant. Pandemic or not. Every second, we are changing. It's the one thing that's a sure bet. How we handle change is at the core of how we move through life. My coaching practice is dedicated to supporting and accelerating positive and purposeful change. And with that, shifting, harnessing and optimizing energy. While there is no one size fits all on HOW to change, or what change will ultimately look like, there are definitely some tried and true tools that help each of us effectuate and move through change positively, productively and position us for sustainable and rewarding success. And Letting Go (Loosening the Grip) are two of those key tools.

Developing and sustaining the muscles that support positive and productive action, change and energy is the work that we continue to do together in the Shift Into Fifth community. So many of you have started and continue to do the hard work to cultivate and develop the inner tools to stay calm, centered and shift/utilize energy in productive and powerful ways. In other words, you are ready to meet the moment!!!

Self Care

Please, stay extra vigilant about your own self-care - hydration, nutrition, sleep, exercise/movement, meditation/mindfulness/deep breathing, practicing self-compassion/kindness/gratitude, laughing/smiling, staying super curious (each day asking who are my teachers today/noting lessons learned-today's takeaways), limiting social media/tv/print exposure, actively choosing/ingesting those thoughts/stories/information that support your optimal self etc. Remember, this is a marathon...not a sprint!

Resources

Accessing resources is key! Please remember that I have put all the weekly SIF Community Coronavirus/Covid-19 Care Correspondence on my blog (www.shiftintofifth.com) with an additional (growing) list of resources for all of you to use and to share with others. PLEASE SHARE! Thanks to many of you, our SIF Community is growing and so is the list of resources-thank YOU!

This week's highlight Covid-19 inspired resource(s) comes from iHeart Radio's Podcast of Commencement Speeches for the Class of 2020:

Listen to Commencement: Speeches For The Class of 2020 on Apple Podcasts. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/commencement-speeches-for-the-class-of-2020/id1510585418

This newly created podcast is a collection of 10-15 minute Commencement Speeches for the Class of 2020 by a myriad of high profile scholars, athletes, entertainers, innovators and thought leaders. With 3 children graduating from various schools this spring, Commencement Speeches are very much on my mind. But honestly, every year, at this time of the year, I love scanning annual Commencement Speeches. It never fails. Reflective. Celebratory. Meant to inspire and impart wisdom, they are a wonderful go-to resource that reaffirms a sense of what's possible.

And I want to remind you that I am here for YOU-to support you in any way that I can. If that means a quick call for you to rant/vent or simply to get a pep talk for you and/or members of your circles, I am here. Creating more anabolic energy for accelerated positive and purposeful change in the world is at the very core of my mission. Supporting YOU is key to that mission.

Please. Stay strong. Be Safe. Stay Healthy. Be kind.

With Gratitude and Purpose,

Valerie

PS. In my work and life, humor is an essential tool for shifting and staying in positive/anabolic energy. Thus, I'm sharing a few new pandemic inspired cartoons/memes. I'm also attaching 2 new podcast episodes that I found particularly inspiring and illuminating (exploring such essential themes as adaptability, kindness, joy, anxiety, laughter, self-compassion, loneliness, grief, responding vs. reacting, connectivity, patience, choice, resilience, gratitude and hope). Please take a moment to listen-you'll be glad you did.

PPS. And here's this week's moments pf zen brought to you by the desert's spring magic show. Each day brings an endless array of new colors, shapes and textures. The power, grandeur and majesty of it all continues to take my breath away. Enjoy!

1. Listen to Don't Let This Crisis Go To Waste | Roshi Joan Halifax from Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris on Apple Podcasts. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ten-percent-happier-with-dan-harris/id1087147821?i=1000475173277

2. Listen to Ep. 122 – Being a Human in the Time of Coronavirus from Metta Hour with Sharon Salzberg on Apple Podcasts. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/metta-hour-with-sharon-salzberg/id923019021#episodeGuid=gid%3A%2F%2Fart19-episode-locator%2FV0%2FvWcWP5U9jLozehfJ3oVhnMu-mARtlsvrDoLaK5kSR48