Letter Number 7/April 26, 2020

Greetings Shift Into Fifth Community-

Week 7 of some kind of shelter in place for most of us....and I'm continuing to think about YOU.

How are YOU? Exhausted. Hopeful. Lonely. Inspired. Sad. Anxious. Content. Frustrated. Overwhelmed. Numb. Angry. Resilient. Strong. All of the above....believe me, I totally get it.

I'm going to share a personal story (something I don't normally do) that touches on much of the above. This past week was my daughter's 18th birthday. So surreal. I have such strong memories of joyfully holding her in my hospital bed hours after she arrived. Still on that incredible high and shocked that she wasn't a 3rd son, I remember thinking so vividly about her high school graduation....when she'd turn 18 and be "launched" into the world. How exciting and wonderful it would all be.

Fast forward to this past week. Incredibly, celebrating her 18th birthday hundreds of miles away from her during a pandemic induced sheltering in place directive was NOT on my radar screen!(please, insert sarcasm!:-) As I shared, I am in Arizona sheltering in place/caring for my stepmom, and my children are sheltering in place in Georgia with their Dad and stepmom. Contrasting this new reality to my rigid recollection of what I thought this milestone would look like generated loads of thoughts of loss, frustration and grief that caused great pain.

So I grieved and yes, had myself a lovely brutal pity party. And then, tired from that depleting energy, I made the choice to WAKE UP. I shifted my focus to her....not just me. Resolute on making this major milestone celebration for her one that SHE would love and remember, and in turn, one that I could also love and remember, I turned my attention to making that goal a reality. I loosened my grip on my preconceived notions of what I thought it HAD to look like, made peace with the reality of today and started widening my filter to imagine the possibilities. I drilled down to the essence of my ultimate goal....her feeling celebrated and loved. I became laser focused...choosing and cultivating only those thoughts/narratives supporting that goal and that goal only. My energy shifted and yes, multiplied. Fueled by this new found energy, I brainstormed with friends/family. I let my mind wander, played with ideas and yes, started having fun. And I remembered that regardless of what the actual celebration looked like, she was already surrounded by love-physically, that of her brothers, her Dad, her stepmom and "virtually" by circles of friends, family....me.

Happy to report that with the help of a whole lot of folks, she had an awesome birthday....filled with a festive car parade, an entertaining music video, a collection of treasured poems/quotes/wisdom, zoom calls and a sprinkling of surprises throughout the day. The love flowing her way from points all over was palpable and powerful. It was NOT what I thought it would look like....it was indeed so much better. And mission accomplished...a birthday girl surrounded with love. And a Mom (your's truly) filled with joy and deep gratitude.

Perhaps you're thinking, sure, that works for you but what about me? Perhaps what you're really asking is, "How do I create positive/anabolic energy and stay rooted in that space in the midst of so much uncertainty, loss, change and disruption?"

While there is no simple answer, the above illustrates a series of things that are tried and true to help you accomplish that goal. And it's the work I do with my clients everyday. It's a mix of making peace with what IS (reality), grieving what's been lost and is no more, and shifting into a sense of possibility/creation for what will be. It's a dance. And it takes intentionality and commitment; it takes choosing those thoughts/stories that support looking forward (not succumbing to fear, panicking about the present, future nor dwelling on the past); it takes compassion and patience toward oneself and others; it takes a loosening of the grip on expected outcomes and making room for more expansive possibilities; it takes a sense of curiosity, gratitude and wonder sprinkled with a healthy dose of humor; it takes embracing change; and yes, it takes choosing courage and hope.

Developing and sustaining the inner muscles that support positive and productive action and energy is the work that we continue to do together in the Shift Into Fifth community. So many of you have started and continue to do the hard work to cultivate and develop the inner tools to stay calm, centered and shift/utilize energy in productive and powerful ways. In other words, you are ready to meet the moment!!!

Please, stay extra vigilant about your own self-care - hydration, nutrition, sleep, exercise/movement, meditation/mindfulness/deep breathing, practicing self-compassion/kindness/gratitude, laughing/smiling, staying super curious (each day asking who are my teachers today/noting lessons learned-today's takeaways), limiting social media/tv/print exposure, actively choosing/ingesting those thoughts/stories/information that support your optimal self etc. Remember, this is a marathon...not a sprint!

Accessing resources is key! Please remember that I have put all the weekly SIF Community Coronavirus/Covid-19 Care Correspondence on my blog (www.shiftintofifth.com) with an additional (growing) list of resources for all of you to use and to share with others. Thanks to many of you, our SIF Community is growing and so is the list of resources-thank YOU!

This week's highlight resource is the special Pandemic Resource Page from the Omega Institute: https://www.eomega.org/collection/omega-conversations-on-covid-19

Founded in 1977, Omega is a gathering place and institute for lifelong learning. Physically located in the Hudson Valley of New York, it has served as a gathering place for great thinkers, creatives, spiritual teachers, and social visionaries. While their website (www.eomega.org) features their innovative/holistic educational programs, talks and writings to further their mission of bringing out the best in the human spirit, this Covid-19 Conversation Page features substantive conversations for shared wisdom and practices specifically focused on meeting this pandemic moment.

I want to remind you that I am here for YOU-to support you in any way that I can. If that means a quick call for you to rant/vent or simply get a pep talk for you and/or members of your circles, I am here. Creating more anabolic energy for accelerated positive and purposeful change in the world is at the very core of my mission. Supporting YOU is key to that mission.

Stay strong. Be Safe. Stay Healthy. Be kind.

With Gratitude and Purpose,

Valerie

PS. In my work and life, humor is an essential tool for shifting and staying in positive/anabolic energy. Thus, I'm sharing a few new pandemic inspired cartoons/memes. I'm also attaching 2 new podcast episodes that I found particularly inspiring and illuminating (exploring such essential themes as adaptability, kindness, joy, laughter, self-compassion, loneliness, responding vs. reacting, connectivity, choice, resilience, gratitude and hope). Please take a moment to listen-you'll be glad you did.

PPS. The desert put on quite the show this week! Truly explosive! Impossible to describe the astonishing array of colors and shapes....so I'll just share some highlights. The power, grandeur and majesty of it all continues to take my breath away. Reminds me to stay humble and hopeful. And keeps me rooted in the power of possibilities. Enjoy!

PPPS. Please remember to share these links and attachments with any and all who you think might benefit. We really are all in this together!

1. Listen to Is It Still OK to Be Happy? | Sylvia Boorstein from Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris on Apple Podcasts. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ten-percent-happier-with-dan-harris/id1087147821?i=1000470854466

2. Listen to Dr. Vivek Murthy and Brené on loneliness and connection from Unlocking Us with Brené Brown on Apple Podcasts. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/unlocking-us-with-bren%C3%A9-brown/id1494350511?i=1000472142134